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Author: Brad Johnson

Brad Johnson is an author and blogger who helps writers discover their niche, build successful habits, and quit their 9-5. His books include Ignite Your Beacon, Writing Clout and Tomes Of A Healing Heart. For strategic content and practical tips on how to become a full-time writer, visit: BradleyJohnsonProductions.com.

How will you use the advice from this post?

https://wordtothewise.com/2020/02/your-first-m3aawg-meeting/

It’s that time of year again where nearly all my client calls involve the question, “are you going to be at M3AAWG SF?” Up until last year, the answer was always yes. But now it’s not a brief drive up the peninsula and a BART ride into the city, it’s a transatlantic plane flight.

The clients I was talking with today said this was their first MAAWG and what did I recommend they should do or talk to. So here’s my list of things you should do if you’re new to MAAWG.

  • Attend the open round tables. These are where a lot of the documents and work starts so go and participate.
  • If you get into town on Monday attend the training sessions. Of particular note is the facilitation training that occurs on that day. MAAWG facilitation is a great way to get comfortable standing up in front of people, running a meeting and speaking out.
  • Go and meet folks at the member breakfast. It’s a great way to get to know folks who are there.
  • The working sessions are just that – sessions where folks get into a room to work on a document or some processes or a work product. Even if you just go and listen, it’s valuable to see how the group arrives at a consensus.
  • Introduce yourself and network. If there’s a group talking in the hallway, join them. Particularly if they’re in PacMan formation. And all of you who have been there before remember to be the PacMan.
  • Go to some of the non email sessions. A lot of the senders who go often focus on the sender sessions. But there’s a wealth of interesting information in the technical sessions as well. Join one and learn.

The vast majority of folks at MAAWG are awesome and welcoming and are more than happy to chat when they’re not running to another session or meeting. The best advice I can give is be there and jump right in.

Oh! And the hotel is back up on Nob Hill this year. You know those hills that San Francisco is famous for and the car chases? Yeah, one of them is Nob Hill. It’s a hike up and I do recommend a car up. You can BART from the airport, but grab an UBER or a cab for that last few blocks. Your leg muscles will thank you.

Have a great time! I’m definitely feeling the FOMO as I look at everyone making plans for the trip. But we’ll see everyone in London this summer (and, well, Dublin 2021 which is a short walk from our neighbourhood).

9 Books That Should Be Adapted as Video Games

With the success of Netflix’s adaptation of The Witcher, viewers are scrambling to read Andrzej Sapkowski’s series of Witcher books and play CD Projekt Red’s series of Witcher games. As an avid reader, avid gamer, practicing witch, and huge nerd, this is all very relevant to my interests.

In an article on how “The Witcher proves games should adapt books more often,” Malindy Hetfeld points out many reasons literature can make for successful game adaptations—not least of which is that when adapting a book, “developers get to create a visual identity” without firmly preconceived notions about characters’ appearances. As a reader, I certainly have lots of ideas about what my most beloved characters look like—but I’m also open to different interpretations.

I’ve inhabited so many stories as text that would translate beautifully into an interactive digital platform, and while reading Hetfeld’s article, I couldn’t help thinking about the many books I want to play as videogames. There are too many to list comprehensively, but here are 9 books I would like to play as games right now. If you’re an indie game company looking for a Witcher-sized success, you could do worse than adapting one of these books.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

At an airport Hudson News, I saw the blurb “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space” and immediately pulled out my wallet. A swordswoman bound to serve her necromancer childhood nemesis, Gideon is a character I want to play games as, write articles about, and be best friends with. In this universe, necromancers can manipulate bones, turning even tiny bone particles into full skeletal constructs, and control them. It is a cool-ass set of powers. Gideon and her necromancer, Harrowhark, fight murderous skeletal constructs, unravel mysteries, and solve puzzles. My Gideon the Ninth gameplay fantasy involves alternating player perspectives—fighting as Gideon and necromancing as Harrowhark—while exploring said haunted space castle, creating bone monsters, and seducing other necromancers. Honestly, what other game would I ever want to play? I am actually furious that I can’t play this right now.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

In Orïsha, everyone is either a divîner—someone with the capacity to work magic—or a non-magical kosidán. Magic has been banished from the land, many of its divîners killed and its surviving divîners oppressed. Heroine Zélie Adebola unwittingly assists a princess, and finds herself on an epic journey to restore magic to Orïsha and defeat the monarchy. Many elements of this book would lend themselves brilliantly to a game—the vibrant magical powers, artifact collection quests, aquatic arena games, and even fantasy cats—yes, fantasy cats. When asked about her world-building approach in an interview, Adeyemi said (among other things), “If I want my character to ride a lion, then it would make sense to have other fantasy jungle cats—which means there’s probably a fantasy cheetah, a fantasy panther…Then you think about our real world, how you have methods of transportation but then you also have nicer methods of transportation—so which of these cats is like having a Ferrari, which part of society has that?” Even in a game whose primary questline would be something world-changing like “restore magic,” what could be a better side quest than “ride every cat”?

The Power by Naomi Alderman

In a world where women mysteriously develop the power to channel electricity, the tables of power and patriarchy turn pretty quickly. This could be a pretty cool first-person shooter (like, electricity shooter), the player a woman developing her powers. With generous helpings of moral ambiguity, this story could be a strong contender for a game where choices matter. Choosing whether or not to kill an NPC, what to say in a dialogue tree, or how to level up your powers could critically affect the game’s outcome.

Catwings by Ursula K. Le Guin

The basic premise is that you’re a cat, with wings. This could play like a classic flight simulator, but cuter and therefore better.

The Bordertown series created by Terri Windling

This shared universe urban fantasy series takes place in a dystopian city between the Elflands and the modern human world. In the liminal metropolis of Bordertown, neither magic nor technology functions as expected. Runaways (human and otherwise) flock to the city; artists and cool outfits abound. The series comprises anthologies and novels by SF&F heavyweights and cult favorites alike, including Neil Gaiman, Jane Yolen, Charles de Lint, Nalo Hopkinson, and Holly Black. Bordertown has already spawned a text-based role-playing game, but no videogames—yet. I’m imagining an MMORPG with elaborate character customization, a first-wave goth soundtrack (the original anthology was published in 1986), and a lot of gritty NPCs selling mystical herbage. Please, give me this game.

The Changeling by Victor LaValle

I’m a lifelong sucker for stories about changelings, and Victor LaValle’s 2017 novel is one of the best. Protagonist Apollo Kagwa’s wife vanishes after seemingly committing a horrifically violent act, and Apollo searches for her through the enchanted landscapes of New York City. The novel is both fairy tale and horror, occupying spaces both familiar and surreal. As a story-driven adventure game, players could explore the city as Apollo, examining their surroundings for leads (starting with a mysterious box of memorabilia from Apollo’s missing father), talking to other characters for information, using that information to solve puzzles, and determining where to travel. The Changeling is full of breathtaking, eerie settings—including bookstores, rivers, forests, subways, and cemeteries—that could balance its haunting story with a rich interactive environment.

The Diamond Age: or, A Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer by Neal Stephenson

Do you like technologically mystical books-within-books (or in this case, books-within-games) that give you life advice? Do you also love oligarchal Neo-Victorian societies and the possibility of having a gun embedded in your skull? Okay, maybe you don’t love those, but you have to admit they are all potentially solid components of a game. Stephenson’s Diamond Age envisions a world revolutionized by molecular nanotechnology, where society is divided into “phyles” (social tribes) rather than nations. The story follows Nell, a girl so low-born that she doesn’t even have a phyle, who comes into possession of a stolen, interactive nanotech book—the Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer—designed by and for the wealthy Neo-Victorians. For a novel (The Diamond Age) that’s already based around interactive technology (the Primer), videogame adaptation feels as natural as a story about nanotech could feel. With questlines driven by an in-game guide (and perhaps unlocked by solving in-Primer programming puzzles), a protagonist maneuvering between phyles, and threats both physical and psychological, I’d love to inhabit this postcyberpunk universe interactively—as long as I had the safety of a screen between myself and the horrors of aristocratic oligarchy.

Borne by Jeff Vandermeer

A review described this novel as reading “like a dispatch from a world lodged somewhere between science fiction, myth, and a video game”—so clearly, I’m not the only one who can see Borne in the interactive digital realm. The story of a scavenger, a giant flying bear, genetically engineered creatures, and the ravages of a sinister entity called “the Company,” I would play any game set in this world. The Company is so creepy, so mysterious, it’s the perfect villainous megalith (in the context of game aesthetics, it might look something like the Institute in Fallout 4). With nature bubbling up over technological ruins and an abundance of mutated creatures, I can’t imagine a better dystopia in which to run around and scavenge biotech.

The Blondes by Emily Schultz

A rabies-like virus affecting only blonde women sweeps the world. I can imagine game adaptation of this novel being something like Left 4 Dead, with the option to play either as non-blonde survivors, or as rabid blondes intent on killing people. I could also imagine a tower defense game where protagonist Hazel Hayes and the wife of the man with whom she had an affair protect their cabin from rampaging blonde women. I could also see The Blondes as a plague simulator, where you’re some kind of megalomaniacal god trying to spread Blonde rabies throughout the world. Maybe a minigame within the plague simulator where you can design your own blonde? So many options! The Blondes: Left 4 Blonde. The Blondes: Rural Cabin Defense. The Blondes: Plague Simulator. Better yet, let me play them all.

The post 9 Books That Should Be Adapted as Video Games appeared first on Electric Literature.

What’s the most interesting marketing tip you’ve uncovered from this post?

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheWritePractice/~3/Yh0FQ_PkYx0/

Does The Write Practice work?

Since 2011, we’ve been helping writers publish their books and accomplish their writing goals. We’ve worked with thousands of writers through our community and courses.

But this year, we wanted to take a step back and ask, is what we’re doing actually making a difference? Are we actually helping writers achieve their dreams?

Are people writing books at The Write Practice? Can this actually help you get published?

Does The Write Practice really work?

And so we went back to our students and asked, what did you accomplish in 2019? What books did you publish, and what role did The Write Practice play in helping you?

Want to write your book this year? We’d love to help you, too. In 100 Day Book, you’ll start and finish writing your book. Join us here »

Books Our Authors Have Published in 2019

The answers have blown us away. We’ve heard from tons of authors about the books they’ve published. Best of all, we’ve heard about the ways we’ve been able to support, teach, encourage, guide, and cheer them on as they’ve finally accomplished their goals.

One of the most exciting experiences for a writer is the moment when you publish your book. And celebrating your success is the best part of my work at The Write Practice, too.

As the leader of The Write Practice, I’ve gotten an inside look at what’s happening in our community throughout the year. I get to hear about and celebrate every time someone publishes a book!

It’s sort of exciting to celebrate alone. But what’s way more fun is to celebrate with a group.

And as we head into 2020, I want to celebrate with you all the books published in the past year in the Write Practice community.

Take a look below at the amazing work our authors are doing. You might just find your new favorite book!

Flight of the Spark by Evelyn Puerto

About the book: A dystopian fantasy in a medieval setting.

About the author: Award-winning author Evelyn Puerto writes in multiple genres and reads just about anything.

Evelyn writes with us in The Write Practice Pro. She finished a new draft of her book in our 100 Day Book program, hired an editor on the Write Practice team to edit it, and learned to publish in our Write to Publish course.

“I’d struggled with it for a few years and was on the third or fourth draft,” she says. “Then I tried the 100 Day Book program. The feedback told me a lot about what was working and what wasn’t. Then Alice did her Story Grid magic, and after that, it was much easier to finish the book and get it published.”

Buy Flight of the Spark on Amazon

Find Evelyn on her website, on Facebook, on Twitter @evelyn_puerto, and on Instagram @theevelynpuerto

Shepherd’s Warning by Cailyn Lloyd

About the book: Lucas MacKenzie and brother Nate inherit the an old Tudor home and decide to bring their families to Wisconsin for a renovation project with HGTV stardom in mind. As they tear out old fixtures and open shuttered windows, the house reveals secrets of a terrible past and it soon becomes clear the MacKenzies are in grave danger.

About the author: A lifelong writer, Cailyn Lloyd spent three years living in a truly haunted house and experienced firsthand the nuances of strange and eerie places. Shepherd’s Warning is her first book.

Cailyn has followed the Write Practice blog for two years. As she was writing her book, “writing tips and prompts from the blog were very helpful,” she says.

Buy Shepherd’s Warning on Amazon

Find Cailyn on her website, on Facebook, and on Twitter @cailynrox

Found at the Messiah by Merry Goodman

About the book: Andre meets Penelope at the Messiah and love blooms from there.

About the author: Merry Goodman loves to write quick-read Romance tales, love, connections and happy-ever-afters.

Merry writes with us in The Write Practice Pro. She also joined our Write to Publish program, where she connected with a mentor and learned to publish her writing. “You encouraged and pushed me to get it done. Otherwise, I would probably still be editing and playing with the story. Nine books later, you are responsible for my publishing history,” she says.

Buy Found at the Messiah on Amazon

Find Merry on her website

Lyre, Lyre: The Dragon and the Too-Generic Prophecy by Myka Rae Correll

About the book: A prophecy spoke of a savior that would vanquish a fiery dragon, but when a less than heroic recruit is revealed, vivid characters lead to a spark-filled ending.

About the author: Myka Correll is a poetry and fiction writer who lives in the Midwest with her FLUFFY cat, King Elliot Fluffilupticus the 1st.

Myka writes with us in The Write Practice Pro and has completed 100 Day Book. She says, “Having people respond to my work, and being consistent in writing branched into every other area of my life. I ended up publishing two books on Amazon: a poetry collection and this fiction story. This community got me feeling pumped to do more than I first set out to accomplish. I’m psyched!”

Buy Lyre, Lyre: The Dragon and the Too-Generic Prophecy on Amazon

The Might of Defiance: Elise t’Hoot Book One by Mary Ellen Wall

About the book: Our hero risks her life and changes paradigms through perseverance and her fight for basic tolerance.

About the author: Mary Ellen Wall is a Navy vet, world traveler, fermentation queen, painter . . . and writer.

Mary Ellen writes with us in The Write Practice Pro, where she finds inspiration and editing tips. “I love the opportunity to participate in the Write Practice; there aren’t nearby local groups,” she says.

Buy The Might of Defiance on Amazon

Find Mary Ellen on her website

Seasons of Gold by Christine Goodnough

About the book: A selection of over 100 of my best haiku and senryu verses.

About the author: Christine has been sharing experiences and inspirations by means of short stories and poetry, reflective and humorous, for many years.

Christine follows the Write Practice blog for our daily writing tips.

Buy Seasons of Gold on Amazon

Find Christine on her website

My Best Mistake: Tasha’s Story by Carole Wolfe

About the book: A lawsuit, an ex-husband, and a hotel full of men. Just another crazy day in the life of a single mom . . .

About the author: Carole Wolfe uses her words to help readers escape the daily hiccups of life.

Carole reads the Write Practice blog. She’s also a member of The Write Practice Pro, and she’s joined us for both the 100 Day Book and Write to Publish courses. “The weekly workshopping helped me understand what worked for readers and what didn’t. The encouragement of the community is amazing as well!” she says. “I’ve learned many new things and met lots of fantastic writers because of TWP!”

Buy My Best Mistake on Amazon

Find Carole on her website, on Facebook, on Twitter @CaroleW30064418, and on Instagram @carolewolfeauthor

Autumn Leaves by Edward Stephens

About the book: Autumn Leaves is an eclectic mix of short stories of all genres—including romance, adventure, horror, and suspense—with a few poems.

About the author: Edward Stephens is now retired from regular work. He has been writing short stories for the past sixty years for his own enjoyment but has only recently decided to publish a selection of the best of them.

Edward writes with us in The Write Practice Pro. “I enjoyed writing these stories: I sincerely hope the reader shares that enjoyment in reading them,” he says.

Buy Autumn Leaves on Amazon

The Measure of Her Last Marathon: Conversations with Deema Abu Ali by Moïse Halafu

About the book: The inner strengths of a cancer patient who taught people how to live at a time she knew she was dying.

About the author: Moïse Halafu is a national of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He served 25 years with the UN in Africa, Eastern Europe, Asia and the Middle East . He holds two Master’s degrees: Statistics and Human Resources Management. He is currently based in Paris, working for UNESCO HQ.

Moïse writes with us in The Write Practice Pro and finished this book in our 100 Day Book course. “A big thank you to the Write Practice Pro for the guidance and encouragement,” he says.

Buy The Measure of Her Last Marathon on Amazon

Melodramatic Mayhem and Many Murderous Mishaps by Michael Calder

About the book: A collection of short stories and poems put together to terrify and elate you all in one foul movement.

About the author: In brief moments of spare time, Michael Calder binge watches Netflix and, occasionally, writes mind blowing stories.

Michael writes with us in The Write Practice Pro and has joined both our 100 Day Book and Write to Publish courses. “The Write Practice gave me the foundations to put something together that was publishable,” he says.

Buy Melodramatic Mayhem and Many Murderous Mishaps on Amazon

Find Michael on Twitter @Miky350

The Modern Warlock: The Lion and the Hidden Master by Stone Keye

About the book: Jason dreamed of becoming a Warlock. Sometimes your dreams shouldn’t come true.

About the author: While Stone Keye’s genre is fantasy, he tries to write books that incorporate his real life events.

Stone reads the Write Practice blog. “Reading what others have done has been a great inspiration,” he says, and “kept me motivated to get my book out.”

Buy The Modern Warlock: The Lion and the Hidden Master on Amazon

Find Stone on his website and on Facebook

The Zombie Effect by Theresa Jacobs

About the book: How the zombie craze of the 21st century can alter our children.

About the author: Theresa Jacobs champions all things artistic.

Theresa has entered short stories in several of our writing contests. “I was proud to be a part of the Discovery Of Writers anthology,” she says, an anthology published by a group of writers in the Write Practice community.

Buy The Zombie Effect on Amazon

Find Theresa on her website

Recipe for Love by Merry Goodman

About the book: A chance meeting between Michael and Maria kindles love at first sight.

About the author: Merry Goodman loves to write quick-read Romance tales, love, connections and happy-ever-afters.

Merry writes with us in The Write Practice Pro, and joined our Write to Publish course. “TWP pushed me to finish and publish my first book, Recipe for Love. Seven more followed since September 2019,” she says.

Buy Recipe for Love on Amazon

Find Merry on her website

The Greatest Gift Series: 12 Lives Changed by Jesus’ Birth by Jonathan Srock

About the book: The Greatest Gift Series is a collection of 12 short stories that use fiction to describe what it was like to live in the times during Jesus’ birth.

About the author: Rev. Jonathan Srock is an ordained minister living in central PA whose passion is to help him print the character of Christ through preaching and teaching God’s Word.

Jonathan writes with us in The Write Practice Pro and learned to publish his writing through our Write to Publish course. “I learned not only how to finish a book but also to publish it through self-publishing,” he says. “I’m thankful for The Write Practice because it gave me a community of authors and friends as well as help me to publish one short story and three books this year.”

Buy The Greatest Gift Series on Amazon

Find Jonathan on his website and on Facebook

My Spaceship Calls Out to Me by Mike Van Horn

About the book: Well-known singer Selena M and her friends are determined to fly into space on a hijacked alien spaceship, despite constant pursuit by the space forces of three different nations. In addition, agents from the Galactic Confederation are enticing Selena, so they can grab back the vessel and keep their advanced technology from falling into the hands of a primitive world—Earth. When will she ever get to sing?

About the author: I write science fiction with a strong female heroine: a sassy singer who befriends aliens and must choose between her singing career and gallivanting off into space, all while fighting off various baddies. Sci fi with a sound track.

Mike writes with us in The Write Practice Pro and learned to publish in our Write to Publish course. “I have connected with writers from all over the world, from Spain to Sweden to Australia. Getting regular feedback from a small consistent group of peers is invaluable,” he says.

Buy My Spaceship Calls Out to Me on Amazon in February 2020!

Find Mike on his website and on Twitter @mikevanhorn

Silent River by CM Weaver

About the book: A detective looks for a missing family and their killer.

About the author: CM Weaver is a lover of Mysteries in a variety of venues.

CM writes with us in The Write Practice Pro, where she also joined our 100 Day Book course. “I needed feedback to see if the story held interest and flowed well. I am glad for all the feedback I got from posting,” she says. “It kept me on track. I love the readers and reviews I get.”

Buy Silent River on Amazon

Find CM on her website, on Facebook, and on Twitter @TWbookmiss

Freefall by Ken Hughes

About the book: A high-speed urban fantasy struggle as new magicians, enigmatic masters, street gangs, and a magical owl hunt down the mind-controlling killer that stalks them.

About the author: Ken Hughes is an urban fantasy writer living in Los Angeles, author of Shadowed, and the Spellkeeper Flight trilogy.

Ken reads the Write Practice blog, where he’s received encouragement and insight as he writes his books.

Buy Freefall on Amazon

Find Ken on his website, on Facebook, and on Twitter @TheKenHughes

Inside Out by Natalie Hibberd

About the book: In a divisive world of mistrust and murder, there’s only one thing that matters growing up: you’re either in the Inside or the Outside.

About the author: It has been a dream of Natalie Hibberd’s to become an author since she was two years old. She’s thrilled that it has happened at last.

Natalie writes with us in The Write Practice Pro. The community “definitely gave me the confidence to publish,” she says. “It’s been a long journey to get here. I’ve had to overcome many obstacles, including physical disability and Depression. I’m so excited for the next phase of my journey.”

Buy Inside Out on Amazon

Find Natalie on her website

Wildflowers by L.W. Davie

About the book: When Isla meets a strange boy in the forest, her world is turned upside down as she faces a choice: to save her new friend or her own life.

About the author: L.W. Davie is a debut author from New Zealand.

L.W. wrote her book with us in the 100 Day Book course. It was “instrumental in finishing the first draft, and then in editing draft 2 and 3,” she says. “Could not have done it without TWP, I believe that. Have several members in my acknowledgements at the end because they really made the difference. Trusted confidants now.”

Buy Wildflowers on Amazon

Find L.W. on her website and on Twitter @lwdavie

Your Turn to Publish

It’s truly an honor to have played a part in the journeys of so many authors. And if you’re hoping to publish a book, maybe even publish a book this year, I’d love to support you, too.

Many of the authors we’re celebrating here are members of The Write Practice Pro, our online writing workshop. If you want to get feedback to take your writing to the next level and be involved in a vibrant, supportive community of writers around the world, this is the best place to start.

Find out more and join The Write Practice Pro here.

If you’re working on a book, or you want to write a book, I’ve designed a course that will help you turn your book idea into a finished book. Many of the writers here wrote their first or even second or third drafts in our 100 Day Book program. There’s no better way to get the guidance, personalized support, and accountability you need to finish your book.

Learn more and join the next semester of 100 Day Book.

If you’re ready to publish your book—or if you already have, and you’d like to sell more copies—then our Write to Publish course is the perfect fit for you. You’ll learn how to publish your writing and gather an audience of readers who love your stories. Best of all, you’ll connect with a community of writers who will support you in all your future publishing adventures, too.

Read more and join the next semester of Write to Publish.

Publishing your book is one of the most rewarding experiences a writer can have. Will your book be on a list like this next year?

The first step to publishing your book is writing your book. Join 100 Day Book and write your book with us. Join the program »

Which of the books on this list catch your eye? Let us know in the comments!

PRACTICE

Normally in these practice sections, I ask you to write something. Today, though, I’m asking you to read something.

One of the best ways to celebrate published authors is to read their books. For today’s practice, choose one of the authors listed above, get a copy of their book, and start reading it.

If you’re worried about the cost, I have good news: many of these books are just a few dollars on Amazon. (Plus, some of these authors even give away free stories on their websites!)

Let me know which book you’ve picked and why you’re excited about it in the comments!

BONUS: Another wonderful way to support authors is to write a review of their books. After you finish reading the book you pick, why not head back to Amazon and let the author know what you think?

The post Can The Write Practice Help You Get Published? 19 Books Our Community Published in 2019 appeared first on The Write Practice.

Drop a link below if you’ve uncovered anything cool for authors!

https://writetodone.com/landing-a-book-deal/

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post on landing a book deal by first time fiction author, Verity Bright who had three publishers offering to publish her first novel, A Very English Murder. Even if you’ve yet to write a word, Verity shows you how to turn this to your advantage and go get that […]

The post How to Double Your Chance of Landing a Book Deal (Before You’ve Written a Single Word) appeared first on WTD.

Drop a link below if you’ve found anything cool for writers!

https://www.socialmediaexaminer.com/facebook-messenger-changes-bot-policies-what-it-means-for-marketers/

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Social Media Marketing Talk Show, a news show for marketers who want to stay on the leading edge of social media. On this week’s Social Media Marketing Talk Show, we explore changes to business tools for Facebook Messenger with Kelly Noble Mirabella and YouTube’s Q4 2019 earnings reports […]

The post Facebook Messenger Changes Bot Policies: What It Means for Marketers appeared first on Social Media Marketing | Social Media Examiner.

Oath to the Queen

1

Once I saw a newsreel of Queen Elizabeth II making a speech when I was still living in Beijing in the 1990s. I was puzzled by the way she spoke English, even though I could not understand half of what she said. I noticed that her lips barely moved when she spoke. She seemed to have the quality of a ventriloquist, but there was no little painted doll sitting on her shoulder flapping its lips. Her whole manner was strange and impenetrable. I never got to the bottom of my puzzlement. A few years later, however, after managing to get a scholarship, I came to Britain, and started to live in London. Then began a journey of discovering English and Englishness.

For the first few years in London, I struggled to understand the language of the BBC and newspaper articles. This language was very different from the everyday language I had got to know in the street and on buses. It was full of political vocabulary and journalistic conventions that I found opaque and remote. Watching the Queen’s speech now regularly on television gave me no encouragement either. So I went back to my usual habit: studying words from English menus in eateries. One day, as I was having breakfast in my local cafe, I heard a tune from the radio, which blasted from speakers on the ceiling. The middle-aged lady who served tea shouted to a chef near the counter: ‘The Archers! Can you turn it up, Jim?!’ ‘Sure, Dot!’ was the reply.

Then suddenly the cafe reverberated with a jingle-jangly jaunty theme tune. When that died away, some English voices started to resound. I listened with anticipation trying to discern the point of it. It deduced that it was a soap drama, composed by interminable dialogues between elderly English characters in a rural country setting. There was the occasional moo of a cow, baa of a sheep and the sound of machinery. The characters spoke English English, definitely not foreigners’ English. The lady in the cafe, Dot, leaning by the counter listened with mild concentration while folding napkins with a beatific smile. I thought this program must be of some national importance, since no one in the cafe complained about the noise. I listened attentively till it finished, by then I had deposited the baked beans and white toast in my oriental stomach. Then the news started. Dot, looking a little flushed, turned the sound down. She didn’t seem to care about news or world affairs. An atmosphere of relative peace and quietness returned to the cafe, which gave me a chance to ask Dot some questions when she came to clear my table.

‘The programme you just listened to, is it very important?’ I asked with my broken English.

‘You mean The Archers, love? You ain’t never heard of it?!’ She looked unbelievingly at me, as if I had only recently emerged from the jungle, a total ignoramus about worldly things. ‘Don’t you know five million people in this country listen to it every day?!’ Dot wiped my table with vigor and pride.

‘Oh, really!’ I was impressed. ‘What is it about? I come from China . . .’ I inserted my question apologetically.

‘You come from China! You’re new then?’ The lady re-arranged the mustard jar on the table and wiped the ketchup bottle with a rag. ‘It’s about family life on a farm in the Midlands. You know, we English like these sorts of settings – sheep, cows, dairy farming, family dramas, chit-chat fun things.’

I nodded attentively. Yes, I thought to myself, that explains the cow and kettle-boiling sounds, the barn door creaking, along with the umm-ing and ah-ing of the aged voices. Just as some people eat so-called comfort food – like rice pudding – this must be comfort radio, a rice-pudding of narrative.

Later on, I returned my flat and commenced a brief online study of The Archers. An informed immigrant is a good immigrant. Then I found out that the programme was not only the longest running radio soap in Britain, but the longest in the world. It started in 1950. Originally it aimed to educate farmers and thus increase food production after World War II. But rapidly it became a major source of entertainment for urban as well as rural audiences. Just as we Chinese have ‘Peasant Education Channel’ public service at home, I guessed? That was how we learned to weave bamboo baskets or cure a sick pig. So should I listen to it too, just to enhance my English as well as my new life in the UK? Perhaps I should not worry about learning the Queen’s perfect English, and should start from here, the not so high-brow English in The Archers?

Over the next few days, after having submitted myself to the programme several times during my noodle lunches, I lost any appetite I might have had to join the great listening family of The Archers. To describe the programme as a living-death might be a slight exaggeration. After three or four listenings, the theme music induced a strange torpor in my body – an interesting sort of claustrophobia. Then there were the conversations about the minutiae of children’s marriages and health. Their conversations seemed to be too indirect, touching on topics like climate change or organic farming, but never ever truly entering. To the din of sirens piercing through my walls, I grew restless. There were no immigrant characters in the story, no serious social debate, no racial problems, no economical crises, no real politics. It was an oasis of rural England outside the currents of history. That was its purpose. What else should I have expected? But it was still strange for me. In China we have similar soaps too, the popular ones were always to do with grand love and revolution, but not about domestic ladies living inside a little house and chatting about weather. Only some months later, I learned that the most popular newspapers in Britain were the Daily Mail and the Sun. Were the readers of these tabloids and the followers of The Archers one and the same, I wondered?

Then my thoughts crystalized into a clearer idea. This was an idea about ideology. The most powerful kinds of ideology work by concealment. The apolitical world of The Archers was the surface that instilled in its listeners a supremely political position. This was the position of acceptance of the status quo. The Archers’ farm was the British state, the animal hierarchy, from chickens up to horses, the mildly entrepreneurial farmers and the middle classes, ever aspirational, fearful of the lower orders, they trudged through the mud and dreamt of the harvest and the sunny uplands.  People often don’t think the English have ideology. They may think the Chinese are infused by ideology – our revolutionary peasant visions and the Communist system. But not the British! How bizarre. It just goes to show how powerful the ideology in this land is and how effectively people’s lives have been shaped and subjugated by it.

I thought this invisibility of ideology was part of the reason why the British, but the English in particular, had this knack for deflecting all direct engagements. Beneath their social surfaces were deeper surfaces, through which they deflected their own thoughts about themselves. They sought insulation from any idea of change. This explained a number of things about the country: people’s ability to withstand awful public transport and privatisation of nearly all public utilities and a constant ability to vote against their own interests. Yet there was rebellion, though of a superficial kind. Angry working class teenagers would periodically riot against society in general and loot high street stores. From the 1970s onward there was ‘revolution’ in the world of pop, which amounted to punk musicians being bad mannered on stage. This was perhaps the existential cry, raw and inebriated, of a jagged reaction to the kettle-boiling and cake-baking families who dwelt eternally in the village of Ambridge, the home of The Archers, the spirit of the English that would never die.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that the English are anymore ideologically infused than other nations. My essential thought was this. In finding out how ideology works in a country, you find out about a significant aspect of ‘national character’ in that land.

 

2

My next lesson in ideology came several years later. I was sitting in a ‘Life in the UK’ exam, during an afternoon somewhere in north London. We were in a dim and shabby looking multi-functional community space with two examining officers monitoring us. Next door, a Turkish kebab shop blasted out a loud cacophony from a televised football match. Before I had entered the exam room, I had been waiting in this restaurant, eating a very burnt lamb skewer with a plate of salad. Now the meat was giving me a stomach ache, or was it just the anxiety I was feeling about the exam? Would I fail? I probably would. People say it takes three generation of immigrants to become native, or feel native. In this case, I had to hope that my grandchildren would feel less alien here, assuming they would be willing to stay in this country when they grew up. Maybe they too would be wanderers.

Three weeks before this ‘Life in the UK’ examination, I had been trying to memorise historical facts about Britain – its monarchical system, the Commonwealth and its countries, as well as legal and social aspects of the UK. Since I was not from a former British colony, I was not familiar with the Parliamentary and Constitutional Monarchy system. Although there was a lot to learn, my efforts to concentrate were not always effective. Moreover, I thought I did not really have to learn things by rote because I thought I had exam technique. Back in China as a school kid, I prided myself on the idea that I had learnt to make the right answer for any question. And in most cases there was only one answer anyway. When, however, I found myself in the exam room, I realized, staring at the paper, that was a multiple choice exam:

 

Please tick the right answer: King Henry VIII’s daughter Mary was a devout Catholic and persecuted Protestant, which is why she became known as:

A: Catholic Mary                                B: Contentious Mary

C: Bloody Mary                                  D: Killer Mary

 

I cursed myself. What an ignorant immigrant! I should have learnt the difference between Catholic and Protestant, as well as the nicknames of Henry VIII’s heir. During my preparation for this test, I was aware that being someone who grew up in a Chinese communist household was a defect for this exam, and I had studied facts such as that women had gained the vote in 1928 in Britain, and that abortion became legal in 1967, and so on and so forth. But I hadn’t paid attention to the royal family’s nicknames! I regret that I spent most of my days reading twentieth-century French novels and German politics in my London flat. Now I realized that twentieth-century European history was not important at all for this exam.

Sitting before my question paper, I randomly ticked the answer B or C, though sometimes with a faint intuition about which was correct. Perhaps an A for a change? As I circled ‘Catholic Mary’ with my pen, I suddenly had the feeling that I was at risk of losing my British Citizenship. Well, I didn’t have British Citizenship yet. I was risking not gaining the qualification I needed for application of my Naturalisation.

As the sub-continental-looking examination officer paced up and down, I thought: why were there no questions about the East India Company or Partition? I exhaled with a long and unsure breath, and moved onto the next question:

 

What kind of bird do people usually eat on Christmas Day?

A: Duck       B: Chicken     C: Turkey       D: Ostrich

 

An easy question at last! Even though previously I only had one Christmas lunch experience in London with an Italian family eating a huge ostrich. Yes, a stuffed ostrich with heavy gravy all over its rubbery flesh. But, on second thoughts, maybe I should not take this question to be as simple as it had seemed to be. When it asked ‘people’, did it mean ‘any people’ or ‘English people’? As an oriental living in Britain, I always ate a bowl of noodle alone in a rented flat during the Christmas. Santa Claus never visited my chimney, neither friends nor families. Come back to the question: ‘What kind of bird . . .’, I disliked eating any kind of bird. I dread the idea of alien hormones from caged chicken farms infesting my stomach. And what about the vegetarians in this country? Was the Christmas spirit incompatible with the consumption of tofu or any sort of bean curd? Or stir fried bok choy in ginger sauce?

Now as I refocused on the exam sheets, letting the flood of dead bird-imagery fade, I quickly ticked the ‘C: Turkey’ and move on to the next. The next question would be a more serious one, I presumed.

 

The House of Lords is normally more __ in the government than the House of Commons.

A:  powerful                     B:  successful                C: independent

 

Hmm, House of Commons. House of Lords. I always found these expressions odd. It made me think of the Ming Dynasty’s East Court and West Court, whose role was to serve the Emperor. That was 500 years ago. For all these years living in London, I had never passed a building with either of these names, Lords or Commons, on it. Perhaps I had only lived in the poor part of the town? I had a ludicrous image of miniature houses stuck inside the Palace of Westminster and the Queen watering her tulips next to them. Gazing back at the sheets in front of me, I murmured again: The House of Lords is normally more powerful, or successful, or independent in the government than the House of Commons. I rescanned the three adjectives. The more I stared at the word ‘Lords’ and ‘Commons’, the heavier my eyelids weighed upon me. I needed coffee. Then I thought harder. Independent felt like a more neutral word than the pompous vocabulary of powerful or successful. It suggested democracy, which was the image that the UK liked to project. I marked C. The clock was ticking and I faced the last question with no time to spare.

 

Which of the following is a country of the UK?

A: Channel Islands    B: Scotland    C: Republic of Ireland    D: Isle of Man

 

A country in the UK? What a provocative question for someone from People’s Republic of China. I knew Scotland was a country, though without a border with England or using a different passport. I did study aspects of British constitution, and repeatedly read about Britain comprising a number of countries. But still, for me, I could never get used to this idea that this archipelago in the Atlantic should comprise so many different countries rather than provinces. I still remembered reading George Orwell about Englishness: ‘We call our islands by no fewer than six different names, England, Britain, Great Britain, the British Isles, the United Kingdom and, in very exalted moments, Albion.’ While in my experience, London really seemed to be a different country than the rest of the UK. I sighed, and ticked B.

As I exited the exam room, I had little hope that I would pass. Deep down I think my lack of preparation was not just laziness, or merely the product of preoccupation with other things, but also resistance. There was something about the implicit pride in a supposed thousand years of monarchy, and the parliamentary system – which few I suspected understood – that made me feel ill at ease. It was the same syndrome as The Archers. I was just being introduced to the cultural symbols and motifs of the United Kingdom. People learn the history of kings and queens just like we learn fairy tales or consume the latest soap operas. And what for? It’s all about instilling the collective wisdom of the ruling classes, yet done in the most bland and innocuous way.

 

3

A month later, I received the test result which told me I had passed the exam. So I began to proceed with my naturalisation. Four weeks later, I received a formal letter from the Home Office, congratulating me that I was in the final stage of this long process and I needed to participate in a naturalisation ceremony.

On the day of the ceremony, I put on a newly washed but plain looking coat. My immigrant’s experiences made me think in this way: to be normal and to look normal are probably the most appropriate gesture in these circumstances. The last thing you want is to stick out from the crowd. It’s not like attending Glastonbury music festival. So I got off the bus near Bow in East London, I stepped into a town hall building, and met with some non-native looking families. They were all well dressed – women in colourful outfit and men in suits. I presumed they were Bengalis or Indians, and a few members of African family. Then there were several white Europeans. The Europeans sat alone with their Iphones in hands, away from us, without any family companions.

In front of a massive portrait of the current Queen, I was given two different coloured sheets. Each one was a printed version of the oath I could read aloud with others. But I had to choose which text I would follow.

The red coloured oath went like this:

 

I, [name], swear by Almighty God that, on becoming a British citizen, I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Her Heirs and Successors according to law.

 

Then the green coloured oath read like this:

 

I, [name], will give my loyalty to the United Kingdom and respect its rights and freedoms. I will uphold its democratic values. I will observe its laws faithfully and fulfil my duties and obligations as a British citizen.

 

I now knew which oath I would read, and felt relieved that I don’t have to read something totally against my beliefs. As if this is not enough, immediately, we were also given a blue piece of paper, on which was written:

 

Under the Oaths Act 1978, any person who objects to swearing an oath may instead make a solemn affirmation. This also applies when it is not practicable to administer the oath in accordance with a person’s religious belief (e.g. if the sacred book of the person’s religion is not available). The relevant provisions of the Oaths Act (sections 5 and 6) are applied to citizenship oaths by section 42 (7) of the British Nationality Act 1981.

 

I was totally lost with the gabbled legalese of the blue paper. Then I found a white sheet underneath it. It read:

 

An oral affirmation should be made as follows:

I, [full name], do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that on becoming a British Citizen, I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Her Heirs and Successors, according to law.

 

Words on the paper became a rap song, looping in my ears. And I began to shake my head left and right with rhythm. But the Queen’s stern looking poster caught my eyes. I could have sworn for a moment that her eyes were following me. I recomposed myself and began to look around. Everyone seemed to be a little lost, especially an elderly lady in her multi-layered golden sari. Disoriented, I decided to join my European neighbours and stood beside them. I would just read any coloured paper that they would be reading. I could see that they were all holding green paper.

Under the instructions of a respectable looking gentleman before the Queen, the gathered mass of new citizens read aloud their oaths in a muffled voice. Male and female, young and old, Asian and Africans, Europeans and Latinos, we all trundled along with various level of ease or uneasiness.

 

I will give my loyalty to the United Kingdom and respect its rights and freedoms. I will uphold its democratic values . . .

 

When I was reading those lines, I was almost touched, especially with the phrase about upholding the democratic values even though I didn’t have any clear vision where Britain would be heading to in the future. Anything could happen. In fact, anything did happen, with the strange escapade of Brexit that later gripped the neck of the country. Though that was the future. But right at this moment we had to do what we were told, in this town hall, in front of the grand looking Elizabeth II held up by plastic poles against the rain drenched window. Just as the characters in The Archers must submit themselves to the boggy heaths, water-logged fields submerged in manure and the still extant medieval system of land ownership, we, citizens of the UK must live in our eternal village of Ambridge – assuming the borders are still safely guarded. I could feel the weight of my submission bearing down on me. I would mouth the empty words ordained by the state, and I would bend, genuflect and submit to the dull mantras that trickled down from the heights of power.

As my thoughts were propelled upwards through the tuneless humming of the collective mass, the national anthem resonated in my ears and took on the guise of an epiphany. Had I seen the light? I feared there was no light to be seen. I sang, zombie-like:

 

God save all dressed in green

Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen

Send her victorious
Happy and glorious

Long to reign over us

 

Photograph © grassrootsgroundswell

This essay was first published in Lucifer Over London: A guide to the adopted city, first published in Italian by Humboldt Books and published by Influx Press in May 2020.

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